Soooo.....we are officially putting our house up for sale...hopefully within the next week. I have cleaned and boxed things up for days now. I've cried...been sick at my stomach...mostly just prayed...without ceasing.
I realize that I've wasted a lot of time in my life being afraid. I've wasted even more time NOT taking that big leap of faith because you really aren't sure where you might land when you do it. I know that both David and myself have control issues. We both want that billboard telling us that we are totally on the right path before we make any move with this particular decision. We've struggled with feeling anxious because we just want what is best for our family but do not have our answer totally...Gleason or Huntingdon?
Isn't that what God requires of us is to trust Him? It's the waiting that kills me. I want to see the plans for how the bigger picture will all play out. That's just not how God works. I know it...but testing my faith is God's favorite thing...EVER!
I jumped out of the box a couple of years ago and quit my job where I had tenure and experience to go back to Huntingdon, where I grew up, to teach. At the time, I was unsure of what grade I would be in, but I actually did it. Some people were dumbfounded that I would do such a thing...there were a few times I couldn't believe it myself. I am always so predictable. I usually stay in my comfort zone. Typically, I kid myself that I have control because I truly know thats just not the truth. David, on the other hand, jumps in with both feet...except this time.
I had ignored the whisper of returning home for years. Once I made a small move, things started falling into place. So here we are again... We feel good about trying to sell our house as a first step.
David will still work in Gleason, which is where he has lived/worked his entire life. If God plants us in a home in Huntingdon, he will commute just as I have done for over ten years. He says how will he ever know if he likes it unless he's willing to give it a try. Chloe Jo will continue in preschool in Huntingdon, and I'm great either way just as long as our family is together. (and I get a master bedroom with a king size bed and my big girl kitchen I've dreamed of all these years. Haha)
I'm so horrible with the unknown.
As I reflect over my life and the big decisions I have had to make, I can see how God has always answered my prayers. Moving back home to teach has been better than I could have imagined. It hasn't been without challenges but a totally unexpected blessing that I am in fourth grade after years of teaching kindergarten.
The truth is I love both towns. Well, we all do. It's not a bad drive, and if our plan to sell doesn't work I'll be content right where I am. The drawback will be when CJ starts to school and we have to drive back and forth...maybe a few times a day for whatever reason.
I am excited to see how this will all unfold. Either way, I'm counting my blessings for today. I truly have the best husband. I admire his willingness to take risks while I'm typically a permanent fixture in the safety zone.
I'm done with the anxiety and I'm taking the leap. Please pray for us,friends...
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