I'M READY TO SHAKE THIS...
All I really know to do is pray and write. I am walking through some sad times right now. I know lots of you out there are struggling just the same...it is tough. One minute you are great and the next you feel like your heart is going to rip out of your chest because you just want one more time.
I believe in heaven and hell. I believe in angels. I believe in demons, too. I think that when you are suffering, Satan sees it as an open door to your vulnerability...
The only way I can explain it...this has totally blown my sense of security. I cannot let myself feel this during the day because it really upsets Chloe Jo. So, at night when things are quiet, it all sets in...and just overcomes me.
People usually do not share about their grief...because it really isn't pleasant conversation. I know that every person grieves differently. I just wonder if this is normal?
So, knowing that nothing scary like this comes from God...I have decided that I must be facing some demons who are crippling me with fear at night. I have never been afraid. But I am standing firm that God is bigger than this whole thing of grief...and HE will see me through this.
Sorry to be so deep this evening. I continue to be a work in progress...once again I find myself needing to just let go...it isn't like I need to say goodbye, really...because I will see them again:)
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. Psalm 56:3
Do not fear or be discouraged. Deuteronomy 1:21
Evening and morning and at noon I will pray, and cry aloud, and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
What we did in Kennett, Missouri this week...
DUCK GUIDE'S WIFE...
I am not a shopper. Let me rephrase that...Usually, I am not a shopper. Staying in a camper on the outskirts of Kennett, Missouri in the winter will make anyone with online shopping tendencies get out in the stores.
I had a great day of scores for my classroom...at the local Dollar Tree and Dollar General:)
In the words of Chloe Jo..."Oh yeah, BULLS EYE!"
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A BAG OF "ROCKS" FOR A DOLLAR?
We made shapes...
and turned the circle into a face...
Chloe Jo's favorite thing in the whole wide world still is her rock collection. It was so windy, muddy, and cold in Missouri that we just bought some "rocks" on our shopping spree. Funny how something like this can keep us occupied for hours.
HELPING DADDY WITH THE DECOYS...
The sweetest thing and the main reason I make the trip to the camper is because my little girl just happens to be a daddy's girl. I totally get that from when I was little myself. I love on her...read books...play games...teach her things...discipline her...take care of her...but no one does anything like her daddy...and I'm okay with that:)
I am not so sure she will actually hunt ducks and geese. The wind was blowing so hard that you could actually hear gunfire around us. Chloe Jo looked at me so serious one morning and said..."Those guys are gonna shoot this camper right over. If they shoot this camper over they will be in BIG trouble, Mama!"
As we were driving along the road later on you could see birds everywhere and she was saying..."those ducks are gonna get shot, Mama...I can't take it" <as she covered her eyes> haha So, David better get busy he has a tender hearted little girl who is actually worried about the ducks.
One thing she does like is helping with the decoys in her "work boots". Good times:)
I am not a shopper. Let me rephrase that...Usually, I am not a shopper. Staying in a camper on the outskirts of Kennett, Missouri in the winter will make anyone with online shopping tendencies get out in the stores.
In the words of Chloe Jo..."Oh yeah, BULLS EYE!"
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH A BAG OF "ROCKS" FOR A DOLLAR?
We made shapes...
and turned the circle into a face...
and then I did this as I spelled her name:)
HELPING DADDY WITH THE DECOYS...
The sweetest thing and the main reason I make the trip to the camper is because my little girl just happens to be a daddy's girl. I totally get that from when I was little myself. I love on her...read books...play games...teach her things...discipline her...take care of her...but no one does anything like her daddy...and I'm okay with that:)
I am not so sure she will actually hunt ducks and geese. The wind was blowing so hard that you could actually hear gunfire around us. Chloe Jo looked at me so serious one morning and said..."Those guys are gonna shoot this camper right over. If they shoot this camper over they will be in BIG trouble, Mama!"
As we were driving along the road later on you could see birds everywhere and she was saying..."those ducks are gonna get shot, Mama...I can't take it" <as she covered her eyes> haha So, David better get busy he has a tender hearted little girl who is actually worried about the ducks.
One thing she does like is helping with the decoys in her "work boots". Good times:)
These are just some of my favorite people...a great Christmas 2011:)
Granny (my mother) made this with all of the grandchildren in each snowman frame...
very cute!
Grangy and Chloe Jo on Christmas morning:)
Aunt JoMeagan
Aunt Ann
Aunt Lisa...looks like a show on TV...ha
Chloe Jo and her cousins
Aunt Micki and Uncle Steve...I will refrain from my comment...
but it does seem these two are always laying on each other in the middle of whatever is going on...heehee
The happiest reindeer of all...
Nothing like a little Alphabet Picnic game the day after Christmas:)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Snake in the Laundry...
Ya'll are going to have to just bear with me a few months until I grasp this whole thing with death. I will say the anxiety I have felt is unnerving...and I am so ready to feel better. Tonight it is tough, so I am thinking back on funny memories to remain focused on times that were soooo good.
My whole life I have been Mema to my grandparents. No one else calls me that. Dot, from the Dimestore, has always called me Misky but that is a whole other story. ha
No one else ever will say Mema to me again...one thing that bothers me the most. No one else will ask me if I have changed the oil in my vehicle...or say to me they were ready to read about me in the obituaries because maybe I hadn't called when they wanted me to call.
You see, DaddyDoyle and I were prankster partners...and MamaBill was our target. There are so many things I have forgotten about...but now that their void is screaming at me night and day, I am remembering things that I have not thought about in years. Losing both of them this past year has been tough... but in reality I always thought it would happen this way. Sixty-four years is a long time to be together...I was very fortunate to have them for thirty-seven:)
Somewhere I acquired a wooden snake. I have no idea where it came from but it was jointed so it moved just like a real live one. I was taking in dirty laundry one day and threw the snake in the pile to carry in to show my grandaddy. I went on about my busy schedule and totally forgot about it. As the week went on, dirty clothes filled the basket.
MamaBill would go out in the garage and do laundry while she smoked. On this particular day, I wasn't at their house. But the phone call I received is one I will never forget. Four letter words...one right after the other...about me and "Doyle" literally scaring her to death with that blankety blank blank blankety blank blank snake.
She did my laundry.
I have always wished I could have seen her reaction when she came across that thing. I didn't even mean to do it but it made DaddyDoyle's day, despite the both of us having to take a cussin':)
As scared as she was, I have to admit...I would have probably done the same. ha
PLASTIC SPIDER RING...
DaddyDoyle pulled this one but let me in on it.
He asked me for one of my plastic spider rings left over from Halloween stuff I had...with a big grin across his face. I knew he was up to something, so of course I gave it to him. He just put it in his pocket for later.
My grandparents always sat in the living room together and read the newspapers in the evening. They each had their own chairs...DaddyDoyle had dropped the spider ring in the floor in front of MamaBill's chair.
He pretended to be reading his paper as he patiently waited for her to notice.
After a while, she yells..."Doyle, git that spider!" She rolls up her newspaper with a vengeance and starts whacking away at that spider. When she hit it the spider bounces up on her and she really starts beating it with her paper, becoming winded and yelling with every smack.
She finally realizes it is fake and looks over at DaddyDoyle in his chair, who is red-faced and laughing so hard he literally can not catch his breath. She was so mad at him at the time... but later, we all had a good laugh about it when he was telling me how it all went down.
I miss his laughter from his gut. He had a distinct laugh that was contagious. I will always remember the joy he had when he told me stories. But most of all, I miss funny times like these when we "got" MamaBill. Maybe I get my mischievousness from him, ya think.
Thanks for enduring my stories...about two of the greatest people who ever lived. I hope you feel the same way about your grandparents, friends.
My whole life I have been Mema to my grandparents. No one else calls me that. Dot, from the Dimestore, has always called me Misky but that is a whole other story. ha
No one else ever will say Mema to me again...one thing that bothers me the most. No one else will ask me if I have changed the oil in my vehicle...or say to me they were ready to read about me in the obituaries because maybe I hadn't called when they wanted me to call.
You see, DaddyDoyle and I were prankster partners...and MamaBill was our target. There are so many things I have forgotten about...but now that their void is screaming at me night and day, I am remembering things that I have not thought about in years. Losing both of them this past year has been tough... but in reality I always thought it would happen this way. Sixty-four years is a long time to be together...I was very fortunate to have them for thirty-seven:)
Somewhere I acquired a wooden snake. I have no idea where it came from but it was jointed so it moved just like a real live one. I was taking in dirty laundry one day and threw the snake in the pile to carry in to show my grandaddy. I went on about my busy schedule and totally forgot about it. As the week went on, dirty clothes filled the basket.
MamaBill would go out in the garage and do laundry while she smoked. On this particular day, I wasn't at their house. But the phone call I received is one I will never forget. Four letter words...one right after the other...about me and "Doyle" literally scaring her to death with that blankety blank blank blankety blank blank snake.
She did my laundry.
I have always wished I could have seen her reaction when she came across that thing. I didn't even mean to do it but it made DaddyDoyle's day, despite the both of us having to take a cussin':)
As scared as she was, I have to admit...I would have probably done the same. ha
PLASTIC SPIDER RING...
DaddyDoyle pulled this one but let me in on it.
He asked me for one of my plastic spider rings left over from Halloween stuff I had...with a big grin across his face. I knew he was up to something, so of course I gave it to him. He just put it in his pocket for later.
My grandparents always sat in the living room together and read the newspapers in the evening. They each had their own chairs...DaddyDoyle had dropped the spider ring in the floor in front of MamaBill's chair.
He pretended to be reading his paper as he patiently waited for her to notice.
After a while, she yells..."Doyle, git that spider!" She rolls up her newspaper with a vengeance and starts whacking away at that spider. When she hit it the spider bounces up on her and she really starts beating it with her paper, becoming winded and yelling with every smack.
She finally realizes it is fake and looks over at DaddyDoyle in his chair, who is red-faced and laughing so hard he literally can not catch his breath. She was so mad at him at the time... but later, we all had a good laugh about it when he was telling me how it all went down.
I miss his laughter from his gut. He had a distinct laugh that was contagious. I will always remember the joy he had when he told me stories. But most of all, I miss funny times like these when we "got" MamaBill. Maybe I get my mischievousness from him, ya think.
Thanks for enduring my stories...about two of the greatest people who ever lived. I hope you feel the same way about your grandparents, friends.
Friday, December 23, 2011
An unexpected phonecall...
MY LAND LINE...
I am old skool. I like having a land line telephone in my home. It makes me happy because I like to hear it ring...I like to talk on it...I like to screen telemarketers with my caller ID on my land line telephone. Most people text me...but there are still a few folks who occasionally call my house phone.
I have argued with David about the fact that he wants to cut costs and take away my land line. Since MamaBill has passed my concern has been that I would have nothing to back up my reasoning for SAVING MY TELEPHONE when the topic comes up again. See, MamaBill and I usually talked on our house phones when we talked.
After this evening, I have new ammunition for my argument. Diane called. You know when she calls it is important. And she always calls me on my land line.
I believe it was meant to happen today because I missed her call the other day. She was calling about my grandmother. She reminded me of what is to this day my funniest memory with MamaBill and Daddy Doyle. Diane told me that after hearing my story she has never looked at "Billie Jean", as she called her, quite the same. ha She learned of her death in the beauty shop in Dresden and told this story that day for all of those folks to hear. How fitting, they all know about MamaBill's hair:)
So, I thought I should probably share the story with you.
I had been to Union City to teach a science lesson for a certain class and had been pulled over and given a speeding ticket. On this particular day, I was on my way to pay my ticket at the court house in Obion County.
On the way, I had a flat tire on my truck. I didn't have a cell phone but a guy pulled over on the four-lane and let me call for help. DaddyDoyle was still active then and he and MamaBill arrived on the scene after a while to change my tire. He got out of the truck with a jack in his hands and she got out puffing on a "100".
The lug nuts were on too tight, so DaddyDoyle told me he was going to hold the jack and he wanted me to literally jump up and down on it to try to loosen them up. So, picture this...DaddyDoyle on the ground holding the jack and me jumping up and down...all the while, MamaBill was standing there on the four-lane smoking one right after the other yelling over traffic to us about what we needed to do next.
Huge semi's were rushing by within a few feet of where she stood. We finally got the tire off and changed out. DaddyDoyle and I both were covered in grease and both sweaty. MamaBill decided she had better ride with me to Union City to make sure the tire was okay. When we got in the truck and I saw her...OH MEEEEE.
Keep in mind...she made weekly trips to get her hair set at the beauty shop. In reality, her hair was shoulder length when wet. But after the teasing and a whole can of Aqua Net it was set all nice and rounded until the next week. She even pinned toilet tissue around her head at night to keep her hair in place.
Anyways, back to the story...when I say OH MEEE....I am saying I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER HAIR LOOK LIKE IT DID THAT DAY! All those semi's rushing by had blown her hair straight up and forward in the back of her head. It was the craziest thing ever...she was so busy smoking and giving orders that she failed to realize what was happening to her hair.
We went on to the court house and wound up in the elevator with the prisoners who were going to court that day. WE fit right in. We both looked like pure white trash. Needless to say, they take a dirty, greasy girl's money. No telling what those women in that office were thinking about MamaBill, though. We giggled the rest of the way home. Best ticket I ever got.
I want to always remember to laugh when I think about MamaBill and DaddyDoyle. We had great times for sure. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did:) Merry Christmas, friends.
May we all find comfort in those great memories this holiday season.
I am old skool. I like having a land line telephone in my home. It makes me happy because I like to hear it ring...I like to talk on it...I like to screen telemarketers with my caller ID on my land line telephone. Most people text me...but there are still a few folks who occasionally call my house phone.
I have argued with David about the fact that he wants to cut costs and take away my land line. Since MamaBill has passed my concern has been that I would have nothing to back up my reasoning for SAVING MY TELEPHONE when the topic comes up again. See, MamaBill and I usually talked on our house phones when we talked.
After this evening, I have new ammunition for my argument. Diane called. You know when she calls it is important. And she always calls me on my land line.
I believe it was meant to happen today because I missed her call the other day. She was calling about my grandmother. She reminded me of what is to this day my funniest memory with MamaBill and Daddy Doyle. Diane told me that after hearing my story she has never looked at "Billie Jean", as she called her, quite the same. ha She learned of her death in the beauty shop in Dresden and told this story that day for all of those folks to hear. How fitting, they all know about MamaBill's hair:)
So, I thought I should probably share the story with you.
I had been to Union City to teach a science lesson for a certain class and had been pulled over and given a speeding ticket. On this particular day, I was on my way to pay my ticket at the court house in Obion County.
On the way, I had a flat tire on my truck. I didn't have a cell phone but a guy pulled over on the four-lane and let me call for help. DaddyDoyle was still active then and he and MamaBill arrived on the scene after a while to change my tire. He got out of the truck with a jack in his hands and she got out puffing on a "100".
The lug nuts were on too tight, so DaddyDoyle told me he was going to hold the jack and he wanted me to literally jump up and down on it to try to loosen them up. So, picture this...DaddyDoyle on the ground holding the jack and me jumping up and down...all the while, MamaBill was standing there on the four-lane smoking one right after the other yelling over traffic to us about what we needed to do next.
Huge semi's were rushing by within a few feet of where she stood. We finally got the tire off and changed out. DaddyDoyle and I both were covered in grease and both sweaty. MamaBill decided she had better ride with me to Union City to make sure the tire was okay. When we got in the truck and I saw her...OH MEEEEE.
Keep in mind...she made weekly trips to get her hair set at the beauty shop. In reality, her hair was shoulder length when wet. But after the teasing and a whole can of Aqua Net it was set all nice and rounded until the next week. She even pinned toilet tissue around her head at night to keep her hair in place.
Anyways, back to the story...when I say OH MEEE....I am saying I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER HAIR LOOK LIKE IT DID THAT DAY! All those semi's rushing by had blown her hair straight up and forward in the back of her head. It was the craziest thing ever...she was so busy smoking and giving orders that she failed to realize what was happening to her hair.
We went on to the court house and wound up in the elevator with the prisoners who were going to court that day. WE fit right in. We both looked like pure white trash. Needless to say, they take a dirty, greasy girl's money. No telling what those women in that office were thinking about MamaBill, though. We giggled the rest of the way home. Best ticket I ever got.
I want to always remember to laugh when I think about MamaBill and DaddyDoyle. We had great times for sure. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did:) Merry Christmas, friends.
May we all find comfort in those great memories this holiday season.
These thoughts in my head...ha
ALL MY EXES LIVE IN ...TENNESSEE...
I almost didn't post my thoughts today because sometimes things can be misconstrued because you do not want to call out names and you really cannot hear my tone in a blog. That being said...I said why the heck not...ha So, here goes...
I will be first to admit I have done some not so nice things at times when I was younger. I admit to having been that silly girl crying over a boy who I thought at the time I could not live without <more than once or twice>...I wrote love notes and cards to boys proclaiming my undying love for them. At the time...I felt like forever was what we would be. But we all grow up and realize how young we were then. But the memories are sweet and the yucky ones fade because you throw it in to the young and dumb category.
We all have our old stuff from back in the day. BUT...and here is the big BUT...I feel like after years pass by <like almost 20 years> it is okay to speak and even be friendly to people and their families who were a part of my past. But I realized this past week that I could be very wrong about this belief (in some cases)...haha
It happened in Wal-Mart the other day. When you see "him" with his whole family in the aisle you are headed to. The both of you have made eye contact and then the unexpected happens. His kids look up at him then the whole family scatters. Awkwardness hits and there you are about to turn on the same aisle hoping when you make the turn that he just went on somewhere else...but no...he is standing there acting like he did not just see you with his back turned...
OH... NO.... HE DIDN'T.
For lack of a better idea... I say in my dearest and kindest voice...How are you?
In a flash it all comes back to me about that forever part concerning "this one"...in his grumpiest and most nasty and hateful voice he says "FINE"! Why I then asked about his mother is beyond me...not a happy moment. So, I just moved on. Which is great advice for him, don't ya think. haha
I can laugh about this because I cherish all the people <and their families> who have been a part of my life now and back in the day...Maybe it can be awkward but my intentions are just to say hello. Honestly, it just isn't in my nature to totally "diss"someone in Wal-Mart.
This world really is a small place...can't we all just get along? heehee
THE ELF NOT ON A SHELF...
I received this photo via Lydia of my brother spreading Christmas cheer at the gas station. He is so happy and positive it disgusts me. haha I miss you, Bub!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Random December Days...
DAILY DEVOTIONAL...
I thought this was absolutely the sweetest thing. Chloe Jo has a unique relationship with our irritable and way too moody mother cat. They truly love one another...but from the look on Hazy's face each time she and Chloe Jo spend quality time together...it does seem as if she is still her typical annoyed catself. They shared some Bible reading the other night. The crazy part is Hazy just stayed there and listened. Soooo funny!
MOVIE NIGHT...
In the spirit of Christmas, my principal rented out the Court Theatre in Huntingdon last Thursday for our faculty and our families. As I was getting myself ready to go, Chloe Jo decided to play with her new Princess Stamp Set she received from her teacher, Miss Sandy. We are always in a tizzy getting ready and when I finally see what she has done I yell..."OH MY GOSH...Chloe Jo, Who even does this????" Her reply..."You always yell at me, Mama. You always say bad words, Mama!" This is her latest comeback...You always... then fill in the blank with her words of wisdom. <oh my gosh= bad words and I guess I did talk a little loudly...ha>
SANTA...
My Spice Girls got me this cute Santa in memory of MamaBill. I just love this:)
I thought this was absolutely the sweetest thing. Chloe Jo has a unique relationship with our irritable and way too moody mother cat. They truly love one another...but from the look on Hazy's face each time she and Chloe Jo spend quality time together...it does seem as if she is still her typical annoyed catself. They shared some Bible reading the other night. The crazy part is Hazy just stayed there and listened. Soooo funny!
MOVIE NIGHT...
In the spirit of Christmas, my principal rented out the Court Theatre in Huntingdon last Thursday for our faculty and our families. As I was getting myself ready to go, Chloe Jo decided to play with her new Princess Stamp Set she received from her teacher, Miss Sandy. We are always in a tizzy getting ready and when I finally see what she has done I yell..."OH MY GOSH...Chloe Jo, Who even does this????" Her reply..."You always yell at me, Mama. You always say bad words, Mama!" This is her latest comeback...You always... then fill in the blank with her words of wisdom. <oh my gosh= bad words and I guess I did talk a little loudly...ha>
SANTA...
My Spice Girls got me this cute Santa in memory of MamaBill. I just love this:)
SPREADING SOME CHRISTMAS CAMPING CHEER IN MISSOURI...
I have been experiencing some true feelings of anxiety since my Grandmother's passing. So, David and I thought it would be a great idea for me to pack up and go to Missouri with him. Chloe Jo and I spent a few days doing puzzles, painting, and coloring decorations... we even colored ornaments for a little tree with lights. We used decoy hooks as ornaments, too:)
I will say that the part of Missouri where he hunts is a very poor area. I actually saw a lady with no teeth or hood on a moped driving around in this cold weather. There was another lady walking on the sidewalk staring at her with a huge smile on her face...didn't seem to bother the moped lady...guess she was thinking at least I have wheels:)
On the way to Missouri when I crossed the Mississippi River bridge it was very beautiful. I saw a partial rainbow and ducks and geese flying over the river like black birds here. The sun was just right behind the clouds and it was amazing. The land is flat there so you can see for miles. Every road is a passing zone because there are NO HILLS. Seems as if the water in the rice fields stops right at the edge of your yard. We are landowners in Gobler,Missouri now. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for Fallin Feathers Outfitters next. I am very proud of David. But, don't worry friends, we do not plan to reside there, permanently. ha
I've got the carols playing and gonna go clean things up a bit. I am totally excited that I have a NEW Christmas jigsaw...I will be sharing Christmas randomness I feel certain. Hope you have a cozy night at home, friends:)
Saturday, December 17, 2011
My nurse friend...
I have had a tough week...seems as if things still do not seem as reality to me yet but it will hit soon enough. I am blessed with many friends. We are all so busy with life and distance keeps us from seeing one another each day...and time is always a factor. (another lesson ringing true this week...there never is enough time)
But one thing I know to be for certain...God has sent wonderful people in my life who are true friends. These friends are not folks I see as much as I would like...maybe at some point we were on a more common path just to get acquainted....I know we all have this occur in our lives.
Tonight I want to share about a "sister" of mine. I will refer to her as my nurse friend. See, in my other friend circles it takes way too long to explain how we became friends or who a certain friend is...so outside of my friendship with her, all of my other friends will hear me make reference to my nurse friend.
Some of you may be totally confused at his point...heeheeheehee
Anyways, back to the point of my rambling...weeks like this remind me of why my nurse friend means so much to me. She always shows up. The best part is you just pick up where you left off.
When I was in the hospital with Chloe Jo, in my messed up sick state, I remember texting her from my bed asking if I was going to die. Your brain is a funny thing...as sick as I was, I still managed my random texting friendship to get me through it. As bad as it all was, I always knew she would tell me truth whether good or bad. Living with David and his paranoia about bringing a fragile preemie home to raise has caused lots of crazed questions of what to do so we do not frequent the ER every time something happens.
My nurse friend is a loving wife and mother...she has the absolute strangest phone etiquette with her mother...and is the best BINGO caller girl that I know. She loves her job. She sends the MOST random text messages:) (which happen to be one of my favorite things She also makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD!
We were on the subject of Christmas one night this week...she tells me that her husband said next year they were going with the motto...one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing you wear, one thing you read.
Tonight's random text...Maybe you could use a red solo cup:) I ask her r u talking to me? she says yeah, have you not heard the red solo cup song...I said no, but I'm thinking I should tonight...
Perhaps one of her greatest hits she sings to her poor children...heehee
I don't know why I felt compelled to share all of the randomness we share. I don't tell her often enough how much I love her and how thankful I am that she is my "sister".
I am thankful for ALL of my random texting friends...I can't wait to see what arrives in my Inbox next:) Good night, friends.
But one thing I know to be for certain...God has sent wonderful people in my life who are true friends. These friends are not folks I see as much as I would like...maybe at some point we were on a more common path just to get acquainted....I know we all have this occur in our lives.
Tonight I want to share about a "sister" of mine. I will refer to her as my nurse friend. See, in my other friend circles it takes way too long to explain how we became friends or who a certain friend is...so outside of my friendship with her, all of my other friends will hear me make reference to my nurse friend.
Some of you may be totally confused at his point...heeheeheehee
Anyways, back to the point of my rambling...weeks like this remind me of why my nurse friend means so much to me. She always shows up. The best part is you just pick up where you left off.
When I was in the hospital with Chloe Jo, in my messed up sick state, I remember texting her from my bed asking if I was going to die. Your brain is a funny thing...as sick as I was, I still managed my random texting friendship to get me through it. As bad as it all was, I always knew she would tell me truth whether good or bad. Living with David and his paranoia about bringing a fragile preemie home to raise has caused lots of crazed questions of what to do so we do not frequent the ER every time something happens.
My nurse friend is a loving wife and mother...she has the absolute strangest phone etiquette with her mother...and is the best BINGO caller girl that I know. She loves her job. She sends the MOST random text messages:) (which happen to be one of my favorite things She also makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD!
We were on the subject of Christmas one night this week...she tells me that her husband said next year they were going with the motto...one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing you wear, one thing you read.
Tonight's random text...Maybe you could use a red solo cup:) I ask her r u talking to me? she says yeah, have you not heard the red solo cup song...I said no, but I'm thinking I should tonight...
Perhaps one of her greatest hits she sings to her poor children...heehee
I don't know why I felt compelled to share all of the randomness we share. I don't tell her often enough how much I love her and how thankful I am that she is my "sister".
I am thankful for ALL of my random texting friends...I can't wait to see what arrives in my Inbox next:) Good night, friends.
Monday, December 12, 2011
NOT BY CHANCE...
Well, today I will do one of the toughest things I have probably ever done. I really have no other plan other than to take it a day at a time because I do not know how to do life without my MamaBill. We all have that constant person in our life who checks in on us...the one who always lights up when they see you even now as a grownup. I know one thing for sure...I was one of her greatest joys in life:)
God works in mysterious ways...The evening she died I had taken Chloe Jo to the store in Dresden. Usually we go to McKenzie to the store but this particular time I went that way instead. As we approached Dresden High School, I see an Ambulance coming from the road you turn off of to go to MamaBill's House. There were no lights on or speeding by to rush to the hospital...it was like slow motion...and that quiet almost faint whisper...MamaBill is in that ambulance, Misty.
I immediately called her cell phone and house phone with no answer. I just pushed the thought aside and went on to get my groceries while the ambulance followed me all the way until I turned off at E. W. James. On my way home, I get to Dresden High School and my cell phone rings...it was news that MamaBill had died.
I am probably still in a bit of shock. I just pray for peace. This will be tough...
From my 30 Days on Facebook...
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.
Meet Billie Jean Mansfield...my MamaBill
wife of late Doyle Mansfield and mother to Mike
has called me Mema my whole life
maker of best buttery toast around...
red lipstick and a mink coat
prefers small cokes bottles with peanuts and a 100<if you get me>
Oreos and Milky Ways
calls Chloe Jo "her baby"
retired owner of Doyle's Body Shop
never stops at the four-way stop
took me shopping for first bra and held it up in the store yelling what about this one as I hid in the clothes rack
always bought my new school clothes in the fall
and a new itchy Easter dress and ALWAYS Buster Brown shoes
has a license plate on her silver and black Volkswagon bug that says let me tell you about my grandchildren
we talk on the phone late at night sometimes
I used to love going with her to the beauty shop as a kid...
would do anything I asked her to do
I love you MamaBill:)
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Once again MamaBill...she hugs on Chloe Jo just like she did with me. I remember even in my younger adult life crawling in her big bed in tears a few times<and a few times wishing I could later on in my adult life> not knowing what to do about certain things I had gotten myself into...calling her in the middle of the night during storms< both literally and emotionally>...she would pamper me in troubling times...one thing she would do was wash, blow dry, and brush my hair...I loved for her to mess with my hair...I would almost fall asleep on the stool! One thing for sure she has always stood by me. We sure love "Aw Bill" as CHloe Jo calls her.
God works in mysterious ways...The evening she died I had taken Chloe Jo to the store in Dresden. Usually we go to McKenzie to the store but this particular time I went that way instead. As we approached Dresden High School, I see an Ambulance coming from the road you turn off of to go to MamaBill's House. There were no lights on or speeding by to rush to the hospital...it was like slow motion...and that quiet almost faint whisper...MamaBill is in that ambulance, Misty.
I immediately called her cell phone and house phone with no answer. I just pushed the thought aside and went on to get my groceries while the ambulance followed me all the way until I turned off at E. W. James. On my way home, I get to Dresden High School and my cell phone rings...it was news that MamaBill had died.
I am probably still in a bit of shock. I just pray for peace. This will be tough...
From my 30 Days on Facebook...
Meet Billie Jean Mansfield...my MamaBill
wife of late Doyle Mansfield and mother to Mike
has called me Mema my whole life
maker of best buttery toast around...
red lipstick and a mink coat
prefers small cokes bottles with peanuts and a 100<if you get me>
Oreos and Milky Ways
calls Chloe Jo "her baby"
retired owner of Doyle's Body Shop
never stops at the four-way stop
took me shopping for first bra and held it up in the store yelling what about this one as I hid in the clothes rack
always bought my new school clothes in the fall
and a new itchy Easter dress and ALWAYS Buster Brown shoes
has a license plate on her silver and black Volkswagon bug that says let me tell you about my grandchildren
we talk on the phone late at night sometimes
I used to love going with her to the beauty shop as a kid...
would do anything I asked her to do
I love you MamaBill:)
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Once again MamaBill...she hugs on Chloe Jo just like she did with me. I remember even in my younger adult life crawling in her big bed in tears a few times<and a few times wishing I could later on in my adult life> not knowing what to do about certain things I had gotten myself into...calling her in the middle of the night during storms< both literally and emotionally>...she would pamper me in troubling times...one thing she would do was wash, blow dry, and brush my hair...I loved for her to mess with my hair...I would almost fall asleep on the stool! One thing for sure she has always stood by me. We sure love "Aw Bill" as CHloe Jo calls her.
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Friday, December 9, 2011
I literally almost wet my pants...
SOOOOO....
I guess we all have that "thing" we do. Mine is randomly tell stories that begin with sooo.... I am so consistent that it has become a joke for me and a veteran colleague across the hall. Now, when she sees me coming we both start giggling and simultaneously say soooo....haha
That being said, I can tell the story.
Soooo, I arrived to school this morning later than usual. Still on time, but it being Band Concert/party day...we will just say things were not pressing in Language Arts today. I even took Chloe Jo to school with me this morning for a few hours.
I entered my classroom and did my normal throw your bags down...and was surprised to find a blue satin drawstring bag on my lesson plan notebook on top of my desk. It was a little gift bag but had no card attached. I opened the bag to see what was inside.
I cannot imagine my expression but I will say it is the first gift I have received at school where I did a double take. Inside was a bottle of Chocolate Indulgence. I threw it back in the bag and looked around then took it out again to read the fine print...milk chocolate caramel body souffle...
I was like WHAT IS THIS????? <as I felt the blood rush to my head>
It is in that moment you are trying to put two and two together...and you just cannot believe where your mind is going...when the thought of what it might be doesn't match the person... then you wonder if you should even have Chocolate Indulgence out for people to see it. ha
One thing for sure is I am not up on my beauty products...but you can just imagine the thoughts racing through my head. I had heard of BeautiControl but have never bought any of it. Just thinking about it makes me crack up right now!
AS it turned out, we ALL got Chocolate Indulgence. I will spare you the details of our conversation because how thoughtful that one of our own co-workers would think enough of us and give us ALL the latest BeautiControl product.
We have all literally about wet our pants discussing our "body butter" as the veteran colleague of mine across the hall said it. Truth be told...maybe us older ones can't handle this kind of Beauty Control.
I'm showing my age on this one.
What a funny day. What a funny moment. Have a great weekend, friends!
I guess we all have that "thing" we do. Mine is randomly tell stories that begin with sooo.... I am so consistent that it has become a joke for me and a veteran colleague across the hall. Now, when she sees me coming we both start giggling and simultaneously say soooo....haha
That being said, I can tell the story.
Soooo, I arrived to school this morning later than usual. Still on time, but it being Band Concert/party day...we will just say things were not pressing in Language Arts today. I even took Chloe Jo to school with me this morning for a few hours.
I entered my classroom and did my normal throw your bags down...and was surprised to find a blue satin drawstring bag on my lesson plan notebook on top of my desk. It was a little gift bag but had no card attached. I opened the bag to see what was inside.
I cannot imagine my expression but I will say it is the first gift I have received at school where I did a double take. Inside was a bottle of Chocolate Indulgence. I threw it back in the bag and looked around then took it out again to read the fine print...milk chocolate caramel body souffle...
I was like WHAT IS THIS????? <as I felt the blood rush to my head>
It is in that moment you are trying to put two and two together...and you just cannot believe where your mind is going...when the thought of what it might be doesn't match the person... then you wonder if you should even have Chocolate Indulgence out for people to see it. ha
One thing for sure is I am not up on my beauty products...but you can just imagine the thoughts racing through my head. I had heard of BeautiControl but have never bought any of it. Just thinking about it makes me crack up right now!
AS it turned out, we ALL got Chocolate Indulgence. I will spare you the details of our conversation because how thoughtful that one of our own co-workers would think enough of us and give us ALL the latest BeautiControl product.
We have all literally about wet our pants discussing our "body butter" as the veteran colleague of mine across the hall said it. Truth be told...maybe us older ones can't handle this kind of Beauty Control.
I'm showing my age on this one.
What a funny day. What a funny moment. Have a great weekend, friends!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
My classroom stuff...
So it is not very often that I actually post things in my classroom but I must say I am pretty proud of some of the latest things I have done to try and make Language Arts in 4th Grade..."off the chain":) ha Have I mentioned lately that I am really loving my new job???
Believe me there are moments when I am not quite so positive but the good far outweighs the bad.
Today I was reminded there are going to be kids that you cannot save. I am not saying I have given up but some kids are fighting demons that will stay with them forever. Sometimes you just cannot love a kid enough to make them want to choose what is right.
I will keep doing all I know to do...teach and try to keep things interesting.
Believe me there are moments when I am not quite so positive but the good far outweighs the bad.
Today I was reminded there are going to be kids that you cannot save. I am not saying I have given up but some kids are fighting demons that will stay with them forever. Sometimes you just cannot love a kid enough to make them want to choose what is right.
I will keep doing all I know to do...teach and try to keep things interesting.
My Mustang tree:) GO BLUE!
TRIMMING THE TREE WITH POSSESSIVES...
My kids were having trouble using possessives in a sentence correctly. (applying what they know) They have to read and fill in the blank with the correct possessive form of the noun given on their red sentence card each day. This is a daily activity I am doing in the month of December...I am proud of this! I say, "Let's trim the tree with possessives"... they get an "ornament"(a colored dot sticker)...and a sentence card (I ran these off on red paper) from inside the Gingerbread house box at their table. I walk around and check their answers and when they have the right answer on their red card they transfer their answer on the ornament they hung on the tree for the day.
They are loving it and it is hopefully helping them read for clues in sentences to figure out how to use singular and plural possessive nouns correctly. Sorry to be so long winded...but I worked hard on this one! Maybe someone can improve my idea or tweak it to make it work for you. I found these gift boxes at Wal-Mart for $1.75 each. (score!)
My plans are to use white stickers and a snowman in January and give "snowballs"...maybe fun??? ha I will be on the lookout for snowmen gift boxes...at a dirt cheap price, of course.
ANOTHER TREASURE...
50 cents each at Dollar General! The kids used these in a center and loved them...funny how junk like this can make things more interesting. I love this kind of stuff:)
I will go ahead and apologize to all of my friends who are not school teachers. You probably think I am totally weird for posting such nonsense. Some of my best ideas are some form of nonsense, though. haha
Hope you are all having a great week!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Around the house...
CHRISTMAS CHEER...
Fozzie
I miss you, Grandmother.
My snow family...
I love pottery snowmen...
This was taken on Thanksgiving Day:)
Fozz...THE MAN. Heehee...
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
LIFE AT HMS...
MADE IN THE USA...
Sooo...one of my colleagues challenged us all to buy 1 thing made in the USA for Christmas. She said ABC is doing a huge push about this on their newscast. Apparently, if everyone did this it would create 250,000 new jobs in the United States. I also heard another coworker say there are websites of things made in the USA. Sounds like I have a little shopping to do. (I am thinking I will go with a Meadowbrooke Gourd Snowman.) Maybe some of you will take the challenge and we can help boost our economy!
This was a definite Seinfeld conversation that resurfaced throughout the day...I am cracking up just thinking about it again.
RANDOM TRIVIA...
I started writing down random trivia about my coworkers. It has proven to be very entertaining for us all. I am amazed but also proud to be teaching with women who have lived such interesting yet unexpected randomness in their lives just like me. ha
Today we added to the list...What teacher discovered recently that her mother-in law brought home a prosthetic leg they got from Goodwill that they do not even have a use for? heeheeheehee Who takes their legs to Goodwill anyway???? Totally hilarious. Just picturing the look on her face when she went in and saw the leg laying there...Her mother-in-law is a hoarder so this is ongoing...but I will say this tops it all so far. (I am crying right now...wondering if this is even funny to anyone else??!! ha)
Anyways, when something happens from now on I am writing it down...this stuff is just too good. I cannot wait to hear what will be let out of the vault next! I would tell you what is on the list but some of what happens during lunch must stay in lunch. ha
RUMOR ABOUT DAVID...
Sooo...my husband just called and told me there is a rumor going around Gleason that he had a heart attack. His mother even called him tonight to see what this is about. Junk like this creeps me out. David has a staff infection and is fine as far as I can tell...but he has not had a heart attack.
This has totally crushed my blogging spirit. It gets my mind wandering places it shouldn't even go. Guess I need a hot bath to wash away this weird feeling that has just come over me. Sometimes small town talk can just make you sick. Good night, friends.
Sooo...one of my colleagues challenged us all to buy 1 thing made in the USA for Christmas. She said ABC is doing a huge push about this on their newscast. Apparently, if everyone did this it would create 250,000 new jobs in the United States. I also heard another coworker say there are websites of things made in the USA. Sounds like I have a little shopping to do. (I am thinking I will go with a Meadowbrooke Gourd Snowman.) Maybe some of you will take the challenge and we can help boost our economy!
This was a definite Seinfeld conversation that resurfaced throughout the day...I am cracking up just thinking about it again.
RANDOM TRIVIA...
I started writing down random trivia about my coworkers. It has proven to be very entertaining for us all. I am amazed but also proud to be teaching with women who have lived such interesting yet unexpected randomness in their lives just like me. ha
Today we added to the list...What teacher discovered recently that her mother-in law brought home a prosthetic leg they got from Goodwill that they do not even have a use for? heeheeheehee Who takes their legs to Goodwill anyway???? Totally hilarious. Just picturing the look on her face when she went in and saw the leg laying there...Her mother-in-law is a hoarder so this is ongoing...but I will say this tops it all so far. (I am crying right now...wondering if this is even funny to anyone else??!! ha)
Anyways, when something happens from now on I am writing it down...this stuff is just too good. I cannot wait to hear what will be let out of the vault next! I would tell you what is on the list but some of what happens during lunch must stay in lunch. ha
RUMOR ABOUT DAVID...
Sooo...my husband just called and told me there is a rumor going around Gleason that he had a heart attack. His mother even called him tonight to see what this is about. Junk like this creeps me out. David has a staff infection and is fine as far as I can tell...but he has not had a heart attack.
This has totally crushed my blogging spirit. It gets my mind wandering places it shouldn't even go. Guess I need a hot bath to wash away this weird feeling that has just come over me. Sometimes small town talk can just make you sick. Good night, friends.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
I'm so navy...
Duck season allows for lots of me time when Chloe Jo is sleeping. I miss David sooo much but it is a bit refreshing to have full access to the remote and control of the OFF button on the television. I have been thinking...time alone should be time of reflection...quiet time with God and myself to do some soul searching. I should take the opportunity to do some listening to that calm still voice that sometimes gets lost in the noises of my life.
I know things are changing all around me...my job change...daycare changes...David's business is taking off...all things changing are showing themselves as huge blessings for us... BUT I resist every change that comes my way. This is a flaw in my character. I typically stay where I feel comfort...and always choose the same path even though I feel I need to maybe stir things up even a little more.
For instance, when I go to my closet, I see clothing of many colors but I always choose navy. It is safe...somewhat slimming...and comfy to me. I like navy. Don't be a hater. I know I have no style...I just need to be comfortable to do what I do.
Back to my point, I wonder sometimes if anyone else is even thinking about that whisper. The world is so wrapped up in busy...it tries to suck you in. I strive to keep things pretty simple. I do not like a full schedule of events on the weekend. I try to stay home as much as possible. I make an effort to cook meals for my family. I even put up corn the last two summers. haha I love to sit around and talk to my friends and family. I like to read books and play games. I love to make my home cozy. I am happiest when David and I are at home with Chloe Jo doing a bunch of nothing.
So, now that David's business is showing success, I struggle. I am thankful but trying to find my place in the duck world. heehee See friends, I am not a duck hunter. I have no plans to be a duck hunter. AND I miss my duck hunter being in my cozy home doing absolutely nothing when he is away. (There, I said it.)
Something strange happened the other day...I was driving along in my car and all of a sudden the guy on the radio says...GOD WON'T PROTECT YOU FROM WHAT HE CAN PERFECT YOU THROUGH. I immediately sent a random text to my friend, Jenna. I wanted to share it...it was so randomly said and that was it. It was intended to be a lesson for me to ponder about. This is all about spiritual growth. I get it. God wants me to turn to Him...and struggle tends to make me cling to God even more.
In time, I know He will reveal His next steps for us. Until then, I need to remain positive...count my blessings...continue listening for that whisper. Chances are the next time I go to my closet, my choice will still be navy, though...just saying.
I wonder if any of this even makes sense to you, friends. haha
I know things are changing all around me...my job change...daycare changes...David's business is taking off...all things changing are showing themselves as huge blessings for us... BUT I resist every change that comes my way. This is a flaw in my character. I typically stay where I feel comfort...and always choose the same path even though I feel I need to maybe stir things up even a little more.
For instance, when I go to my closet, I see clothing of many colors but I always choose navy. It is safe...somewhat slimming...and comfy to me. I like navy. Don't be a hater. I know I have no style...I just need to be comfortable to do what I do.
Back to my point, I wonder sometimes if anyone else is even thinking about that whisper. The world is so wrapped up in busy...it tries to suck you in. I strive to keep things pretty simple. I do not like a full schedule of events on the weekend. I try to stay home as much as possible. I make an effort to cook meals for my family. I even put up corn the last two summers. haha I love to sit around and talk to my friends and family. I like to read books and play games. I love to make my home cozy. I am happiest when David and I are at home with Chloe Jo doing a bunch of nothing.
So, now that David's business is showing success, I struggle. I am thankful but trying to find my place in the duck world. heehee See friends, I am not a duck hunter. I have no plans to be a duck hunter. AND I miss my duck hunter being in my cozy home doing absolutely nothing when he is away. (There, I said it.)
Something strange happened the other day...I was driving along in my car and all of a sudden the guy on the radio says...GOD WON'T PROTECT YOU FROM WHAT HE CAN PERFECT YOU THROUGH. I immediately sent a random text to my friend, Jenna. I wanted to share it...it was so randomly said and that was it. It was intended to be a lesson for me to ponder about. This is all about spiritual growth. I get it. God wants me to turn to Him...and struggle tends to make me cling to God even more.
In time, I know He will reveal His next steps for us. Until then, I need to remain positive...count my blessings...continue listening for that whisper. Chances are the next time I go to my closet, my choice will still be navy, though...just saying.
I wonder if any of this even makes sense to you, friends. haha
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Giving Thanks
I AM THANKFUL...
I have to admit...today I have felt a little bummed out. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful...BUT for our family it is the beginning of DUCK SEASON! Although I am excited that David's business is doing well, I miss him when he is gone soooo much. (There would be something wrong with the picture if I didn't right??!!)
While I was feeling down in the dumps, my friend Ginger and her kids had perfect timing. They came over and gave Frosty a makeover! So, after lots of laughs, I am feeling thankful for my friends and their kids. OH, and I am feeling thankful for my new bow for my snowman tree, too:)
These snowmen have been in my life for years. I have collected snowmen for 20 years. Each snowman has a different story...really. Many teacher friends and kids have given them to me. Some I purchased when I had my first apartment. So, I will continue the tradition of the snowman tree but with a bright and cheery new ribbon...funny how simple things like this bring me cheer.
BLAST FROM THE PAST...
No BIG family dinner goes by that I do not think of a prayer that an old classmate of mine said in a play we did in Speech and Drama back in High School. I have no explanation of why these random things stay with me and are still funny to this day...but I bet many others out there know exactly what I am about to recite...
Bless the meat, darn the skin...
Roll it up, and cram it in!
PLAYING DRESS UP...
So, Chloe Jo loves to play dress up. I have shared many photos of her in her hats and capes...high heels...glasses and jewels. Here's a new dress up game she plays...and Hazy LOVES it:) heehee
DOT PAINTING...
We got crafty and broke out the dot painters. I get so excited that Chloe Jo loves doing this stuff because creative stuff was my thing growing up. I guess it is still my thing. I just wish these were really "no mess" like it says on the box. It should really say washable after soaking in the tub for 30 minutes...heehee oh well, I still love it!
NEW GINGERBREAD FRIENDS...
It's those little things again...these two made my funky tree a little more exciting:)
OPRAH'S LIFE CLASS...
I really like to watch this on the OWN network. Thought I would share. You might want to check it out. Interesting... especially if you like Oprah:)
Tomorrow is a big day, friends. I am thankful for each one of you and what you have meant in my life. I give thanks for the blessings in my life...even duck hunting. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have to admit...today I have felt a little bummed out. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful...BUT for our family it is the beginning of DUCK SEASON! Although I am excited that David's business is doing well, I miss him when he is gone soooo much. (There would be something wrong with the picture if I didn't right??!!)
While I was feeling down in the dumps, my friend Ginger and her kids had perfect timing. They came over and gave Frosty a makeover! So, after lots of laughs, I am feeling thankful for my friends and their kids. OH, and I am feeling thankful for my new bow for my snowman tree, too:)
These snowmen have been in my life for years. I have collected snowmen for 20 years. Each snowman has a different story...really. Many teacher friends and kids have given them to me. Some I purchased when I had my first apartment. So, I will continue the tradition of the snowman tree but with a bright and cheery new ribbon...funny how simple things like this bring me cheer.
Chloe Jo helping decorate the tree:)
When she finished she said to me, "Mama, it is beautiful."
BLAST FROM THE PAST...
No BIG family dinner goes by that I do not think of a prayer that an old classmate of mine said in a play we did in Speech and Drama back in High School. I have no explanation of why these random things stay with me and are still funny to this day...but I bet many others out there know exactly what I am about to recite...
Bless the meat, darn the skin...
Roll it up, and cram it in!
PLAYING DRESS UP...
So, Chloe Jo loves to play dress up. I have shared many photos of her in her hats and capes...high heels...glasses and jewels. Here's a new dress up game she plays...and Hazy LOVES it:) heehee
DOT PAINTING...
NEW GINGERBREAD FRIENDS...
It's those little things again...these two made my funky tree a little more exciting:)
OPRAH'S LIFE CLASS...
I really like to watch this on the OWN network. Thought I would share. You might want to check it out. Interesting... especially if you like Oprah:)
Tomorrow is a big day, friends. I am thankful for each one of you and what you have meant in my life. I give thanks for the blessings in my life...even duck hunting. Happy Thanksgiving!
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